Be nicer, not nice

"Happy New Year" means it's time to make a little sub-list of resolutions.

1. Learn to appreciate what I have.

I know it's totally cliche but I really am not good at this one. I'm always looking out and ahead and pursuing those damned more-betters. I can take breaks and accept where I am but it won't be long until I begin feeling useless and eventually worthless. Extreme supreme tacos, right? I'm going to try out this appreciation tactic and hope it balances my life a little better.

2. Blog more.

In addition to inbetweendesigns, my personal design and life blog, I have another blog titled PainfullyGood [read more about it here]. Both are the main creative outlets that I am currently sustaining, and I am hoping that both will become more functional (and maybe even famous!) by this time next year. Wish meh luck.

3. Be nicer.

Yeaaaah, so I'm not outright the nicest person. I highly doubt that even my closest friends have ever gushed "Yeah, Milan is sooOoOoOo nice!", and if they have, they are fired. If now is a time for a rebuttal, here it is: I just feel that being nice is cheesy and uninteresting. There has to be a name for people like me. Sadist? But seriously, please believe me when I say my heart is NOT a blackened coal and that I do not take pride in the fact. So I can be a little mean. Is it a lack of filter or an excess of judgement? Is it immaturity or inconsideration or are those the same thing? Is it a symptom of middle child syndrome or am I just making excuses? Whatever the reason, I am trying to improve. It's probably just the natural scowl I was born with, anyway. Gr.

4. Move into my own place.

For the very first time, I want to try living roomate/family-free. I am in a serious relationship that has been progressing slowly but surely, and I feel that if there is any time in my life that I should experience living alone, this could be my only chance. I could be setting myself up for oh, I dunno, bankruptcy, but I am up for the challenge. I hear being able to talk to yourself as you walk around the kitchen in your delicates is really worth it. Plus, NOT sharing a shower and toilet sounds absolutely glorious.... right up there with winning a whopping 2,008 US cents.

5. Stay employed.

I'm just throwing this one on because a list of 4 does not sound sufficient to me. A good one nonetheless, don't you think?

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5. Get comfortable talking to strangers.

I'm scratching the last one not because I don't want to stay employed, but because I was inspired at lunch today with a new resolution. Ladies and germs: I successfully experienced, for the SECOND TIME in TWO DAYS, a normal conversation with a perfect stranger. And by normal I mean a conversation that does not REEK of baby-stealing testosterone, or leech my energy or totally demolish my sense of safety. I know in reality that it is possible to have a perfectly normal conversation with a stranger and walk away feeling like you connected in a healthy but brief way, but I have only read about it. I have always been envious of folks who can do this and have surrounded myself with friends and lover who have that skill to make up for lack of mine. Until now. Maybe I gained a bit of confidence from hanging with some really good, socially healthy people this weekend, but I hadn't really believed in the whole thing until I experienced it myself. Hallelujah. Thank you Tucky from the SF Art Guild and random IBM guy who eavesdropped on Anna and my conversation over lunch at the mall.

Oh, and to add: on the way back from lunch I was handed a flyer about Psychic Reading at 1/2 price! and was still holding it when I got into my building elevator. Still high from making conversation with the IBM eavesdropper, I had the audacity to try and start a conversation with the other elevator passenger in the time frame it takes to get from the lobby to my floor. All I had time to say was: "Interested in psychic reading?" He laughed a laugh that was too short to be friendly and said "No." and then I had no time to recover. Great, now I'm the creepy psychic from the 5th floor. Our elevator is really fast, okaaaay!??!

What are your top goals for the year 2009?