It's still so amazing/trippy to hear myself say the words... we're having a baby!
We found out officially on my birthday this summer and have been soaking it up as slowly as we can. The anatomy ultrasound at the halfway point gives us a chance to find out the gender and asked the technician to put the results in an envelope for us. We were going to Kaua‘i in a couple of days for my good friends' wedding and thought we'd make the reveal a little special by opening up the results on the beach. As soon as we settled into our rental, down went the top on the convertible rental and off we cruised to a beach on the north shore. Couldn't have imagined a more perfect setting. In attempt to prolong the mystery as we could possibly wait, we set up a couple of chairs and inhaled in the fresh ocean air for a while and tested the water until it was time. Tears. Whooping. Silence. Hugs. Holding hands. Looking out to our future.
A boy. We're having a boy.
He's thumping around in my belly as I write this, a reminder that he's with me and very much REAL, something that took some getting used to in the beginning. I'm a Planner with a capital P and a certified control freak when it comes to my personal life. Now, we're turning our heads at other people's strollers, tossing around baby names, and attending birthing class once a week. We are doing what we can to prepare mentally and emotionally for this big, fat, expletive change in our lives, and while I'm aware of the potentially massive mound of to-do's, I'm allowing myself to look the other way and enjoy this time and aim for zero-stress as much as I can. We're doing light research to build up our registry and we'll get the essentials, but my mantra lately has been do only what matters. We'll figure it out as we go. I'm learning that part of letting go requires practicing gratitude, and more than ever I'm grateful to have Jason by my side through it all. I see sides of him for the first time, and I imagine our future together and my heart could burst. Whatever life has in store for us, I'm ready.