Today was my golden birthday! My poor kid was on my mind all week, suffering with an eczema flareup and subsequent heat rash, so I was very distracted and a bit distressed to be honest. But the thoughtful texts and dinners this week were just the right amount of celebration. Thank you loves!
The theme for this past year has been Family. My family has gotten bigger with a newborn and a brother-in-law and fiance, and I get to spend time with my blood family more than I ever have since moving out of the nest, some 10+ years ago. Particularly with my mom, who has been living with us part time and doing more than I could ever ask for, my relationship has grown. I'm very grateful that our son has such doting aunts and uncles and grandparents and great-aunts and uncles, and it's really wonderful to see how our little one has brought our family closer together. It's a nice side effect that I didn't fully expect out of all of this.
I came across this excerpt and had to share. Although this poem talks about a relationship between a parent and child, I think in any relationship, it's important to distinguish the intimacy from the non-ownership, mutual respect and separateness that is inherent in every individual. When I struggle with parenting, when my marriage isn't all butterflies and unicorns, when the daily grind feels plain and boring, I want to never forget that to love is to be free.
“Your children are not your children.
They are sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you.
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the make upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness.
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He also loves the bow that is stable.”
―Children, by Khalil Gibran